lim joe→∞

Teaching, Mathematics and Teaching Math.

Matt and Trace's Wedding

Posted by forumjoe on March 28, 2010

Yesterday my wife and I had the privilege of attending a most beautiful wedding of our friends Matt and Trace’s wedding. It was a wonderful day, and this morning I woke up with sore cheeks, because I think I was smiling so much yesterday. Not “photo pose” smiling either. It was such a genuinely joyous event that I couldn’t stop smiling when I looked around and could see love everywhere.

I also had the honour of being the MC for the reception, and it was indeed a great honour. Determined to make it memorable, I decided to do the entire thing in verse. After several months of working on the speech very sporadically, I had a poem written that I was quite proud of, so I’m going to post it here. Some things came up during the night, so some of the verses had to be written rather rushed, but I think the whole thing came out well. Tell me what you think!  I don’t think I did as good a job as Ange and DSL did at my own wedding.  Nothing can top the safety speech.

For Matt and Trace

Welcome, everyone, to this day of fun
Set-up in this delightful marquee
Today it’s my pleasure, to make this party a treasure
for the afternoon I’ll be your EMCEE

My name is Joe, I’m a teacher you know,
Is this job the same? We’ll see.
So don’t muck about, or I’ll give you a clout
And I’ll make you sit here! In front of me!

I’m already aware of you three over there
I’ve got my eye on you,
And I’m going to track you four at the back
Don’t make me separate you from Stew!

But the reason we’re here is to drink lots of beer!
No I’m kidding, it’s for Trace and for Matt
To help them celebrate the fact that fate
has thrown them together, along with a cat.

The wedding today was a grand display
of the love that these two share.
we’re all lucky to be acquainted to the
bride and groom, what a beautiful pair.

But the business is done now it’s time for the fun
as we party on into the night
There’ll be dinner and speeches. Lyons might lose his breeches
and I’ll try to do this right.

Enjoy the Red and the White, and the beer is alright,
And now lets talk about loos,
Gents go round the side, ladies your toilet’s inside.
The bar is here, if your table needs more booze.

There’s no seating plan, so just sit where you can,
Just chillout and chat for now.
Help yourself to finger food, but please don’t be rude,
There will be plenty to go all the way round.

Matt and Trace will come by, just to say Hi,
And to have their photo taken with you.
So if you move about, you’re going to miss out.
And then you’ll be in the poo.

But first it’s time to toast to those we love the most
And we’ll all say “To Tracy and Matt”
Just say that last line And please keep in time
Together now… “TO TRACY AND MATT”

(socialising and photos)

If your ears are keen, then you will have seen
that I couldn’t resist the temptation
to MC in verse, it could have been worse
I could have used zero punctuation.

If you’re hard of hearing,, or been too busy beering,
You might not hear me through the fog
This poem will be available to see
Tomorrow I’ll post it on my blog.

Now we know they’ve got preferences for pop-culture references,
and rather than sprinkling them through
I’ve decided to cram as much as I can
Into the next verse or two.

Matt loves Master Chief, and Altair the thief,
And Governor Elaine Marley
The cake is a lie, but I’m still alive
“We’re off to Candy Mountain, Charlie”

“Can I has cheeseburger”? Oh Em Gee ZergRush!
Raw Took, More Work and Zugzug
Matt and trace came, through the fire and flames
But they should have been washed in a jug (in a jug)

Their tastes are contrary and even get literary,
Crivens, the coo beastie went moo!
The Golden Arrow’s a man who does all he can
while he thinks “What would Batman do?”

We all love Matt and Trace, while they love comics and space,
And Trace is a Joss Whedon junkie
And now I’ve run out, so to distract you I’ll shout
“Look behind you, a three headed monkey”

If you didn’t get, anything I just said,
You’re not alone, don’t let it hurt your pride
Lets hope the first speaker shows me how to be meeker
Welcome Don, the Father of the Bride!

(Don’s Speech)

That speech was great, it was well worth the wait
And dinner will be ready soon.
Let’s move right along, to the next speaking gong
This time it’s Matt, The Groom!

(Matt’s Speech)

Give it up for Matthew Smith, he will go down in myth
He’s made everyone here a fan.
One more speech before dinner, and it’ll sure be a winner
Please welcome Brett, the best man.

(Brett’s speech)

Congratulations Brett, were you starting to sweat?
Have that beer that you’ve surely deserved.
It’s dinner time now, there’ll be plenty of chow
One table at a time will be served.

You’ll just have to wait, before you grab your plate
Please don’t be impatient or rude.
To each table I’ll come, send you up one by one.
Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of food.


What a great spread, do you all feel well fed?
The chef certainly makes the grade.
Dessert will be a treat, but first someone more sweet.
Please welcome Jules, the Bridesmaid!

(Jules’ Speech)

Well done Jules, that speech rules.
You had the attention of everyone in the room
Dessert will be soon, but hold on to your spoons
Because first it’s Tony, father of Groom.

(Tony’s Speech)

Well done Tony!  He’s the one and only.
You spoke with passion and zeal.
Dessert’s in a mo, and the system will go
Just the same as it did for the meal.

One table at a time, in an orderly line
But first there’s a presentation to make
For we all need to see, Matt and Tracy
Cut the beautiful cake.

(Cake cutting, then dessert)

Before we end the day, there are a few more words to say
From Tracey’s brother, Sam
He gives me his word he’ll keep it above board,
So please welcome him to the stand.

(Sam’s impromtu but short speech)

It has been a grand day, and a fine display
That the ways of LOVE are many
My job is done, though the night is but young
Let’s make this party LEGEN…wait for it… DARY!


One Response to “Matt and Trace's Wedding”

  1. slpmartin said

    Very clever…sounds like it was a beautiful and fun time for all…thanks for sharing.

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